Empowering you to create a healthy relationship with food, mind, and body.
Im going into week 3 of IE and for me I thought week one was very easy. During week two I started having some doubts and encounters with the food police and past diet mentality. I feel like it's worsening and now I don't know how to get it to stop!
I made some delicious cupcakes for St Patty's Day tomorrow and I just had to try one after I'd iced them. It was a huge debate. Did I want one? Yes. Was I hungry? No. Could I have one later? ...Kind of. I'm working all evening and that means it's going to be a chore to even find time to have some dinner. I thoroughly enjoyed my cupcake. But...where's the guilt coming from?! I've got the half ridiculous mindset that one cupcake is going to make me gain weight. I know that's so untrue. The other half of me is not worrying about it. But I've had a few of these experiences over the past week (and not necessarily over sweets). After doing so good challenging my food police why am I falling back a bit? I feel like maybe all I need is just some encouragement. I also wasn't sure where else to post this because I didn't want to bring my issue up in the middle of someone else's topic.
I am so glad you enjoyed eating that cupcake! Good for you - it not only helps to conquer diet mentality, it shows the food police that you are paying attention to YOU, not them :-)
I have always LOVED to bake (since age 5 actually!). And I loved to eat what I have made too. I could never stand to see a beautiful layer cake get stale so I would eat dang near the whole thing in a few days! When I began IE I decided that I could make my cake and eat it too - slower if I make mini (4 inch) cakes that I froze so I could remove them individually and ice them then. A lot of people said they couldn't manage this since it would remind then too much of 'proportion control'. Happily I never did dieting like that so it wasn't a trigger for me. My own discovery and acceptance of a 'way' to have my cake and eat it too has remained with me so that I usually have available - in my freezer - some thing I can eat when I want cookies or mini-cake etc.
Are you falling back?!? NO!! Its really a strong and brave step forward :-) Hope you will share more of yours as you journey along. Its inspiring and encouraging for us all.
Thanks! I definitely joined the forum to inspire, not just to acquire help. So I hope that my questions/stories can do that! I love baking as well. During my dieting days I did bake a lot more. I think it was mostly because I was obsessed with food: both eating and not eating it. I'd shove cookies, cakes, bars, etc. down everyone else's throat because I "couldn't eat them" only to devour the whole stash of whatever I made when other people didn't finish them. No more! I can't do it. I've always said I love having my cake and eating it too. Now I bake a little less because I know I'm allowed to eat what I make, and I don't feel that I need desireables around me at all times anymore. :)
I too have seen a diminishing of my drive to bake lately. Part is not really wanting these things, and another part is due to having to go more gluten free which really cramps my baking 'style'! I am slowly (re)creating favorites in GF mode, but its a definite challenge when it comes to things like bread, biscuits and pie crust. (old standards of mine)
I too have 'See Food' problems - so in my case having small, snack sized packages in the freezer helps me to not nibble nibble nibble every time I am in the kitchen. A glass cookie jar is a KILLER for me (lol).
Journey and share on :-) - Katcha
Thanks for sharing your inner struggles. I am new to IE-I just finished the book this week.
I have experienced the same thing and have the same confusions. I love the IE concepts and know it's what I must do to have a sane, heathy relationship with food (and myself) but I too hear the two little voices - one saying positive IE related things and the other telling me all this cupcake eating and food acceptance is just a farce and will only make me gain more weight and become more critical of myself as a result.
I challenge the food police and then when my guard is down, they challenge me right back. :) Thanks to Karcha for jumping in and commending your bravery! I agree with her and will continue to fight the good fight right along with you!
I don't know what's happened to be the past 3 days. I haven't really been listening to my body and hunger signals. I haven't binged like in the past, but I've overeaten and it's hard for me to understand why. I haven't deprived myself of anything...I wonder if it's maybe stress. I was never an emotional eater until I started dieting. So maybe it was just because of stress. And it was discouraging. I did so good with IE for 2 weeks and then that happened. I'm trying not to let it get me down. I'm just looking at it like "gee, why did that happened?" and not let it get to my head. Maybe it's not realizing how more often I'm hungry due to my new workout, or stress or something else. But I woke up today vowing to stick with IE to the best of my ability because:
Food is fuel, my body needs it.
Food is not the enemy.
Honor my hunger - stop when I'm satisfied. If I don't it's wasteful and pointless
Continue to "make peace" with food even if I already feel I have.
Just a few reminders from the book to keep me "hanging in there." I'm not weighing myself so if I gained weight I'm not going to find out about it and let it bring me down. All I can do it just keep going. Since this isn't a diet I've also reminded myself that I haven't failed anything. Maybe eating a little more than I should have for the past 3 days just makes me an amazing creature, functioning as a result of something I'm not quite aware of yet. But I'll figure it out, just as we all will with our struggles. With my struggles I'm here to support anyone as they're here to support me. I love IE and I'm happy doing it. Normal eaters overeat once in awhile anyway. Maybe it was just normal. Journey on!
If memory serves me, the book also mentions about IE being turned into a faux diet? Dieting is so familiar with rules and dictates that when one begins IE the void of do's & don't's often sucks ya back into 'Am I doing this right?" type of thinking. In true 20-20 hindsight I would have NOT told myself - "I vow" or "here is what I gotta do" or such. Simply noticing and adjusting back on 'track' is GOOD work in the beginning. I now look upon IE like I would breathing - I certainly wouldn't expect myself to live 24/7 with slow deep breathing only ;-) Same with eating - varied and as near a true to self (needs/desires) as possible - when I can - gets me further than trying to live to a 'standard' that isn't etched in granite actually.
Keep up the effort and thanks for sharing your journey with all of us too.
Good point. I was thinking about how I was viewing the situation this morning as well. And they way I had some of it worded in my mind like "i vow" or "i will do better" I did catch and was trying to think of my situation differently. Because while dieting I always had to tell myself I could do better, or I was failing the diet (or myself) and tomorrow I'd "start fresh"...all these negative things. I keep an IE journal since I've just started out, and aside from logging my hunger signals, food tastes, etc., I've been writing some positive points about how I don't have to feel that I have rules to follow or goals to meet. And that there's nothing here for me to fail. IE is for my mind and body - it makes me feel really good about myself and my relationship with food. And establishing a good relationship is all I'd like. I don't want food to run my life anymore in any aspect.